The Crucifixion Machine Sound Update

Update on The Crucifixion Machine sound. We are currently working on two remixes for a couple of great underground artists. I won't say their names, till I get the remixes done, but watch for an update on this blog. We are also preparing to release an album by the end of the year through http://thecrucifixionmachine.bandcamp.com. So watch for this release for Christmas or New Years. It should be a vast improvement over previous releases.

Some things people have told me about writing music:

This is by no means a complete list, but here are some things people have said to me about writing music:

1) Start with the melody.
2) Music should be discovered, not written.
3) You got to "fuck up" the beat a little.
4) The bass adds interest.
5) Intro/Verse/Chorus/Verse/Chorus/Bridge/Chorus/Coda
6) You have to keep the listener interested, surprise them.

Ok, there will be more to follow, watch for additional comments as I hear them.

d.

God damn.

I have no idea what to write, except maybe a stream of consciousness.

I don't know.

Maybe this:

been working on this set of lyrics recently --

Sabotage

We are the ones who sabotage our lives,
Paying all our debts with deception and our lies,
Robbing from Peter to pay Paul and Mary,
Asking all the others our burdens to carry,
Praying for forgiveness from another mans God,
Never learning karma we perpetrate the fraud.

There will be more soon...

d.

Should a State, Missouri or any of the other 49, drug test for welfare recipients? NO, and here is why:

Ok, the question has been posed on Facebook by Home Town Rolla, Missouri USA: Should welfare recipients be drug tested?

First and foremost, this is an asinine question. It makes the assumption that all welfare recipients are drug users. We are not. Of course, some are, and some of their monies that they make with or without welfare does indeed go to drugs, it's making the statement that one bad apple spoils the bushel.

Second, and more importantly: The Fourth Amendment to the United States Constitution, as well as provisions in the Missouri State Constitution protects ALL citizens, welfare recipients or not. Drug testing by the state is a search, no ifs ands or buts about it. Drug tests have been used in court to prove possession of drugs, and therefore are in fact a search. To search a welfare recipient, just because they are applying for food stamps, or TANF, or even disability is without warrant, and therefore is against the Fourth Amendment.

State and Federal workers are not drug tested exactly for the above reason.

The argument has been posed that "gee my employer drug tests me, why not welfare recipients who make it their job to get welfare?" To begin with, the statement that we make it our job is stupid. I want to work, I want also to get my meds paid for, just like people who have "good" jobs with benefits. I cannot work to that capacity. It's not my, or most other welfare recipients life goal to make it our job to receive welfare. Secondly: employers are not the state. While the state and federal governments are employers, one will find that they do not drug test their employees.

A recent statement was made that soldiers are drug tested: Soldiers are also considered "property" of the federal government, and thus are exempt from the fourth amendment protection.

To drug test all welfare recipients is like requiring all drivers to blow for alcohol before they drive. The argument is the same because some drivers drive drunk.

Finally, the welfare system already has provisions for those _convicted_ of drug crimes. This is completely reasonable: don't give them foodstamps or TANF for a few years, and or if they are already on welfare and/or disability: Take it away!

d.

come download a tune from bandcamp!

I use BandCamp to sell and allow downloads for my tunes. Many are free, I just ask that you leave your e-mail address so that I can send promotional material to you. I never abuse this privilege that you give me your e-mail address, my record of e-mailing is something like four times a year.

That being said, come get some tunes by The Crucifixion Machine at Bandcamp!

A little vocal work.

One of my chief complaints recently has been my lack of employment. Well, hopefully after today I have a little job. I have an interview with a survey taking company in the next town west of here. The job entails being on the phone a lot. So I am going to get a little vocal exercise.

I know I have been promising to bring vocals into my tunes, maybe, just maybe I will get over my fear of singing based on this job.

Let's hope so. Or maybe not...lol, my voice might just sound a bit like a flushing toilet mixed with wild dogs howling too. Hope not tho.

d.

On "Dear Woman", by Conscious Men...a video published on YouTube

While I don't deny that many things happen in history on both sides of gender, I find that this video is revolting to the general mainstream population of males. 

The video is an apology to womankind for male insensitivity at least, and for a very small segment of the male population that have perpetrated crimes against women.  The revolting aspect of it is that it lumps all men into the category of pornographers and rapists, while not acknowledging that there are only a few bad apples.

Other aspects of the video that I find disgusting are the production itself, the weepy violin that plays during the whole thing, the new-agey atmosphere that it portrays, and the fact that it's mostly beta males doing the apologizing.  These aspects denigrate women by portraying woman kind as a soft, weak, and non-practical force in nature.  Or that women are still not as good as men. 

The women that I have had the most respect for in my life have been strong-willed, practical, and progressive.  This video goes completely against that notion.

One other thing that I would like to point out is that there is never any mention of crimes against men, for example:  false rape accusations, false reporting of domestic violence, genital mutilation in the form of circumcision, and etc. 

These men are speaking, but they do not speak for the majority.  The most intelligent of us all, men and women, should realize that there is a great deal of bullshit on both sides of the gender equation that needs amends made.  And also that there is a great deal to celebrate on both sides as well.

All that said, here is the video:

Tears in the Rain by crucifixionmachine

On the Boulevard

On the Boulevard by crucifixionmachine

Thought I would stop reading the damn news, and make some music!

Cobalt Blue by crucifixionmachine

Got a little EBM Ditty worked on today.

Nothing special. Just wanted to say that.

I've been thinking of the fact that my negative feelings became overwhelming in the last post.

Today was a better day, that's for sure.

Got some music done.

Will post the results soon.

d.

Recent photographs published in Spiegel of U.S. Soldiers with their kill.

In modern warfare, there are atrocities.

From the gassed trenches of the first world war, to the apocalyptic behavior of all sides during the second world war, killing fields, prison abuses, and now this. Photographs surfacing in one of Germany's most popular magazines, Spiegel (Mirror), of U.S. Troops treating the bodies of what appears to be civilians as though they are trophy game.

This article is a continuation, expansion, and explanation of remarks that I have made on Facebook recently where two of my most intelligent friends have weighed in with their comments and opinions as well. Original thread is here.

For those who didn't read it, or cannot access it, the gist of my original comment is that most Americans have some kind of "hard on" for "supporting our troops" especially where the ones that I have to deal with on a daily basis in the backwaters of the Mid-West are just the types to do the kind of taking of a trophy that these soldiers have done.

Although I can only give anecdotal evidence, and my reasoning is sketchy at best due to this, this however is my personal opinion of who, what, and why this shit has happened among those who call themselves "professional" soldiers.

The first friend of mine pointed out that the perpetrators of these atrocities that have been recently published are rogue elements within the U.S. Military. The second friend of mine questioned my translation abilities, and thus my intelligence in the process of questioning. I only take slight offense to that. We remain friends, at least from my side anyway.

So let the shit storm of my opinion begin.

I have had two recent dealings with people from the U.S. Army that have simultaneously left a bad taste in my mouth from their swinging their cocks around, and quite possibly hope for those military professionals who have to deal with their antics. Before that was over ten years ago when I was working for a military contractor that primarily hired former military servicemen due to their technical expertise. Those guys acted with disdain for civilians also and they were retired military leaders.

Working in backward chronological order, here are the accounts:

The fall of 2010.
I was a hotel clerk at a local place of lodging where the U.S. Military chose to bring temporary overflow recruits to stay. There weren't enough bunks on post for these guys, so they brought them to us for three days until they could clear enough bunks in the barracks for them.

During their stay, some twenty or thirty young men partied hard at night at the local bar around the corner, as well as in their rooms, at night, and were up at the crack of dawn to travel the thirty miles to the local Army post for various forms of training (I am of the understanding that they had graduated from basic training, and were learning their military specialties. They could be considered "professional" soldiers by this time).

There were two incidents during their stay. First, on the first night of their stay, a couple of servicemen got into a yelling and threatening match with a couple of Hispanics who were staying at the motel. It was a loud obnoxious clusterfuck of people telling people that they were gonna kick asses, and others to shut the fuck up.

The next night, one of the soldiers got so drunk that he put his head through the wall. Or so that's how they tell it to the local law enforcement who I had to deal with over the matter. The one that did this was one of the ones picking fights the previous night.

The police officer explained to me that being in the Reserves himself, that they "take care of their own". This gave me some hope that maybe this vainglorious sociopath who put his head through the wall of my motel would be greeted in the night by a sleeping bag party. The officer implied that I need not press charges. I wished all the shit would have just gone away, but I had to tell the officer, my being a representative of the owner of the establishment, that charges would have to be pressed.

The soldier was removed from the scene in handcuffs to return two hours later escorted by his commander. I guess that's how they take care of their own, by coddling their brat children.

So there is that.


Spring or Summer of 2010 (I can't recall the exact season, but it was last year or so).

I was in the middle of litigation over custody rights to my son who had been legally kidnapped from me (yes, with a $12,000-$50,000 ransom and all, to be paid to my attorney before he would even begin thinking about fighting for my rights in what he described as a losing battle...but I digress).

I happened to be drinking my sorrows away at the very same local bar that appears in the above story.

My estimate of the number of Military personnel in the bar at the time is something like five to ten (I mention these numbers because I am going to try to make a point with them later).

One of them was acting like the "cock of the walk" in the bar because he had just returned from Iraq, and oh, he was somehow injured. Another was his commander who happened to be sitting next to me, and remarked to "just ignore that guy, he's stupid, and not like us".

The commander seemed to have a good head on his shoulders, and I was feeling pitiful about my experience with the legal system recently so I asked him if he realized that he was fighting for the rights of some fuckin homosexual bankers to kidnap my son. (yes, Patrick, if you are reading this, I have a lot of problems with how all this shit worked out. I will still be civil to you and your partner, however, primarily because I believe that it is my son's best interest to know his true father...but I digress)

In this instance, it wasn't the overt actions of the dipshit that was bragging having been to war, but the bizarre response that I got from the commander, the one with the good head on his shoulders, that troubled me. He wanted to know where these guys lived, the ones who had my son, as though he were going to personally go rain revenge on them for me. I just said that they lived out east and kind of extracted myself from the conversation after accepting a shot of cinnamon whiskey from the guy.

Finally, in 1998, I went to work for a military contractor for about six months. The longest I could stand being around these types on a daily basis. I was a multimedia illustrator for them. The office populated by about ten former soldiers, and four civilians including myself. That's not even mentioning the people out of the office I had to deal with, many of whom were former military too.

The range of personalities in this sampling are thus: One, my immediate supervisor was a former Master Sargent. Ok fella, been out long enough to deal with civilian life in a relatively productive way, etc. However his quirks were he was a self admitted sex harasser, racist, and just generally liked to start shit. Said that he liked to say things to others to get their goad. Three of them were old school military in that they had been out long enough to treat life with some humility, pretty much considered themselves civilians in their own right, and were generally nice guys. Two of the guys were like shadows in that I nearly forgot about mentioning them, one was so in the woodwork probably because he was a minority who got treated like shit in the service much like his office team treated him in civilian life. Two of the guys were spastic chain smokers (I can't fault them for chain smoking tho) that had such huge egos they would make these incredible comments and bizarre jokes involving the bathroom, and biological warfare. One was Hispanic, and had worked for INS, or some military version of it, border patrol, I recall (a traitor to his own people in my eyes, but that would be racist of me now wouldn't it). And finally the office manager was a former tank commander, very quiet, and very imposing.

So the setup has been made, here are the punchlines:

I was the only male of the four civilians. I asked our secretary once what it was about military guys that women liked. She replied, that it was "what they can do".

I am of the assumption that they have the ability to kill without remorse and that's what she was talking about, I guess.

The immediate supervisor wrote a training manual for us who were working on multimedia illustration. In the manual it basically said that it took no training to do what the fuck I was trained to do. By a university. for FOUR YEARS DAMMIT. So you can see that the guy had enough disdain for civilians to write such a statement and his trick of getting others goad, well it worked.

During a liquid lunch, one of the former military guys from another office said with enough hatred that he might as well have told me to fuck off, something on the order of "what do you know, college boy?"

This is just a few of the things that I had to deal with during my six month stint of working for a military contractor.

So there is that.

I have had some other dealings with military people over the years, and yes there are stories to tell of them too, but for the sake of space, and not boring you, reader, I am going to just leave it as these three.

So, let's look a little bit at the numbers. In the first story, there were something like 2 in 25 that were overt assholes. The second story, two in seven. The third, say, five in eleven. You could call it something like eight in forty are Inglourious Basterds. Or one in five.

WTF? I ask! for every five military personnel, there is one in that group who might do the things that are described by the photos in Spiegel. Consider grouping phenomenon and you can extrapolate that one in five units of however many guys are on a team (say eight) would do such atrocities where there is a unanimous agreement in the unit. Just saying, ya know.

What else can I say about the military? There has not been a draft since (if my history is correct, and it does not matter if it's perfect anyway the estimate is still good) 1975. That means that the men and women of our armed forces are choosing a life of killing and putting their lives at risk. I know the argument coming at this statement is that there are huge incentives to join, education, monetary gain, glory, ten percent off meals for the military by the civilians who have a hard on for them and etc.

I guess what I am asking is WHY THE FUCK ARE WE REWARDING MURDEROUS SOCIOPATHS? These men and women from Abu Ghraib to Afghanistan are treating other human beings, combatants or civilians, like animals, like their prey. They take trophies and mutilate corpses for fun and profit while this author cannot find morally upstanding and creative work to feed himself or his family, and back home the bankers take his son away.

###

David M. Winn
TCM/HMM

Guitar, Bass, and Synth.

Just an update on what I have been doing recently. Decided to work out a tune using the guitar, Bass, and relegating the synth to a background position.

I'm still going dancey, and dark as well, but with some real stringed instruments to play with.

Watch for a post in the next day or so with a new tune featuring these instruments.

David
HMM/TCM

MMMMMMMMMMM....OOOOOOOO............Bela!

Bela Lugosi is Dead - as performed by The Crucifixion Machine by crucifixionmachine

Ascension Album.

It's been three weeks since my last post. Sorry about that dear reader. I've been concentrating on making an album for hardcopy and electronic release.

It's called Ascension. It contains the story of a man who, through Pascal's Wager, decides to believe in god, and finds to his dismay that hell, and the devil come with the belief.

Although I may say goddammit, or jesus christ, when disgusted, that is a product of my upbringing. I don't believe in god. I have in my past, but no more. The reason being is that god is supposed to be benevolent, and omnipotent. One that has these two traits would never allow for evil. Yet the nonexistent one does.

Due to this, I find it much more comforting in my life that the random like nature of chaos, the non-personal attacks on individuals who are good, exists instead. See, chaos doesn't give a shit about you, or me, and can still be the driving force of the universe.  Because of this, chaos does not lie, like the god that others conceive (and fight over).

It makes so much more sense to me, where I have tried continuously and failed to have decent relationships, make real money that will sustain me and my family, get custody of my son (whom I can now never see, but allegedly twice a year if ever). It makes so much more sense that when I was addicted to drugs and alcohol, that chaos would allow, nay, support the happy habit; yet when I quit with much effort and finality, that I would get arrested for -- you guessed it -- drugs, and a DWI, the ONE TIME I HAD THEM SINCE I QUIT.  It's random people.  It's not god.

I look everywhere all the time looking for god in my life and only find the truth of chaos.  God in my life would be a good job, or at least a good income that everyone else seems to have.  God in my life would be a house, a car that I had the pleasure of earning the money to pay for, and a family that supports me and my endeavors. God in my life would at least be my parents helping when I am clean and sober, and having never supported me when I was in my habit. God in my life would be the love of my infant son who is being raised by two gay men (read what you will into that, I don't give a crap).  God in my life would be having a real vacation every year, just like every other working stiff out there, going to the lake, owning a boat, living the American dream.  It's not that way for me.  It's been the American night mare since I was diagnosed with Bi-polar disorder.

God in my life would be the news agencies not equating mental illness with violence.

God in my life would be when a dog needs $4000.00 surgery to save it's legs, that it get's it, and I get my meds, or never need them in the first place. This is a stupid thing: Dog needs surgery to save it's legs, so the owner goes and tells his friend. The friend goes on the internet and tries to raise money for the dog.  Yet when I was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder, no one gave enough shit about me to raise the money to help pay for treatment, and medications for me, no, instead I was left to become nearly homeless....and people wonder why I was addicted to drugs and alcohol.

God in my life would have never been in an addiction anyway.

I was told once that Oh, you turned away from god.  Sure.  God turned away from us all.  Including me.

Or,

there is an impersonal force in this universe...it never cared in the first place, and never will about us, it may have created us by accident, but it's not out to destroy us, just that it's a random force, and will destroy or create at random.

That's much more comforting to me.

David
HMM/TCM

The Crucifixion Machine -- Psalm (God Damn Preacher Mix) Ministry Cover

This is my submission to be on the Ministry -- Fix Movie companion Album.

I find out tomorrow if I am accepted.

FIX - The Ministry Movie Trailer

I submitted, yesterday, to be on the companion album for this movie. I find out tomorrow, I think, if I got accepted.

 Well, Christmas was interesting for me, full of cheer, and other bumpy things.  Ran across an old school mate of mine who is a multimedia artist living in LA.  I have always admired him even from Jr. High School days, but when I got this response from a simple question:  What do you think of my tunes?  I replied with a full on blog post, and have come up with some questions for any other listeners out there that might read this.  Here goes the letters (btw, they are edited to protect the innocent LOL):


Dave,

First let me apologize for not getting back to you sooner. Traveling to see family(s) in MO was not ideal for having some time to contemplate a response to your question, so I put it off until I was back at home in LA.

I think your tunes are pretty cool. Sometimes the genres you work in aren't exactly my cup of tea but so what - it's still interesting listening. Standouts for me are New Horizon, the new one Seven Headed Beast, and Satori. Things like Pulse and Heat, not so much. I'll keep listening though because I've consistently enjoyed the sound design choices you make. I admire how prolific you are too - it's inspirational makes me want to be able to put up more tracks.

Your blog is interesting too. I enjoyed the posts about your approach to music theory. You might like heatercore.net. He's been doing a series of Live tips this year, some great stuff in there - most purely technical.

Have a good new year man, keep it up.

Cheers,
---b__


B__,

It's funny because I'm not so sure of what genre that I am trying to work in.  Some times it just comes out.  I have been, for a long time, trying to emulate a lot of synth pop, power pop, or what have you....also lately been trying to be in EBM.  But for the most part, I find that the listener defines the genre for a musician....so, am now wondering what you had categorized the tunes as?


Also, what genre(s) do you prefer working in, and/or listening to?  Reason why I ask, is that you said that you will keep listening, I mean I don't necessarily want to pander to my audience, but if I happen to like the same genre, then hell yes, I will give it a shot.  Something is bound to take hold with my audience such that they will pay to hear the tunes.  Ministry started out as a synth pop band before going full on crazy industrial metal, for example.

Oh, as far as Pulse and Heat go...LOL, I hated pulse from the get-go.  It was originally composed by J___ H______, and rearranged by myself.  He plays the guitar on the track.  We had a falling out due the the tune, his ego, and the fact that he wouldn't return some CDs that I had lent him.  (hate to dog a fellow artist like J___ who is an awesome guitarist, but...truths gotta be told somewhere).

As far as Heat goes, I never really liked it either...it's just a work that i posted early on, and it has remained on soundcloud due to the number of listens, and downloads (if there are any).  I rotate the songs on the basis of popularity and age.  If they get a lot of listens, and are fairly young, I keep them up.  Else, I dump them for new tracks.

On the subject of the frequency of releases, I gotta say a couple of things:  I am a Zazzle.com contributor.  I get a royalty for T-shirt designs, and some other graphic design stuff from there about every other month.  It's not much, but it buys lunch or so each payment that I get.

I got to thinking about how I could branch out, and after acquiring Ableton, and developing a proficiency at it, I decided that it was time to try to market the tunes too.  I have noticed that over the years, the Zazzle royalties have increased.  I believe it is due to true popularity, not just simple inflation.  My reasoning again for the music was to post, post, post, then it takes hold.  Increases.  Makes free money for me basically.  I am especially glad that I can inspire another artist!

I also mentioned to you in [gigantic department store chain store], that I "enjoy" a mental illness.  I have been on and off disability a couple of times for it, and free time is supremely available for me.  I gotta do something with it.  Hopefully I can dump the disability for income from creativity.

The blog is something that I started to emulate Tom Shear of Assemblage 23.  I gotta say a few things about the guy:  1)  He is an amazing musician.  Pretty much does the same thing I do, writes at home, probably from his bedroom in his underwear, LOL.  But then he travels to Europe, Russia, and Mexico, not to mention all over the U.S. to perform.  His lable is Metropolis Records, where many of my favorite artists are produced.

Now the second thing about him is that I have struck up an e-mail correspondence with him, and man, he is very, very, cool.  He has a one on one relationship with his fans.  I only wish I had the gumption to do this back in 87 when Trent Reznor just got his break, ya know.

I really appreciate your encouragement.  It seemed to me, when we bumped into each other, as though someone recognized my "blooming", if you will.  You appeared to be surprised that the loner guy in Jr. High who ate twinkies all alone for breakfast finally broke out into something better.  And I appreciate that.

Thank you,

David.

P.S. B__, I am gonna use an edited version of this letter as a blog post, hope you don't mind....thanks again.


So, for the reader, the above questions still linger:  What genre do you like?  What genre do you categorize me as?  And well, what do you want to hear?

I know that Kurt Vonnegut suggests writing to entertain only one person (probably himself, as what I do with my tunes), however feedback is incredibly important to me too. 

Again reader, the questions still linger.

David
HMM/TCM